Pope Francis gives his weekly general audience in St Peter's square on November 18, 2015 at the Vatican. Married Catholic priests in Kenya want Pope Francis to spare a moment and meet them during his visit to the country. AFP PHOTO | ANDREAS SOLARO
Whether or not you are a Catholic, this has been a historic week, with the visit of Pope Francis to Kenya. One of the central messages given by the Catholic leader is on the importance of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is very important because it frees the person who forgives from the prison of un-forgiveness.
You
may not know it, but as long as you hold a grudge against someone, you
are a prisoner. The other person may not know that they hurt you.
Everyone
needs forgiveness. If you haven’t already, please watch the 2007 movie:
The Note, directed by Douglas Barr. It is a story about a columnist by
the name Genie Francis who came across a note that had been written by a
passenger in a plane that
had unfortunately crashed, leaving no survivors. The writer had written a simple note: “Dear T, All is forgiven. Love, Dad”.
The
journalist embarks on a journey of locating the intended recipient of
the note. She decides to track all the families of the men on the
flight, hoping to give the note to its intended recipient.
As she does so, she is led through a journey of self-discovery, as are all the individuals she contacts.
For
instance, there was a man whose father was a pastor. The man is not
sure whether he should stay in the church that his father had founded.
After reading the note, he recalls the conversations he had with his
father, and knows that he needed to step into his father’s shoes.
An
embittered female singer whose foster father had died on the plane has a
chance to reflect on her life when she gets the note and makes a change
for the better.
CENTRAL TO LIFE
The journalist herself has some learning to
do. Years ago, she had given up her new-born child for adoption and had
never forgiven herself for having done it. As she meets different
people, she realises that forgiveness is central to life itself.
Eventually
she finds the real owner of the note. Christine, who had been adopted
at birth, got into a quarrel with her adoptive father just before he got
onto the fateful plane. Her words were hurtful.
Her
dad must have realised that the plane would crash and had the time to
write the note, thus giving her the gift of forgiveness.
The
beautiful twist is that Christine was the daughter that the journalist
had given up at birth. She too has a chance to ask for forgiveness.
One
of the lessons I learnt was that it was important to use each
opportunity you are with someone that hurt you to mend fences. Don’t
leave unsaid what you can say today-one day it might be too late. Don’t
wait for next time because sometimes, next time never comes!
I
also learnt that it is important not to judge people on face value,
because you don’t know everything about them. They may be hiding secret
hurts that make them behave the way they do. Instead of becoming
judgemental, learn to ask yourself, ‘What circumstances or hurts might
this person have gone through for them to become like this?”
Always be accommodating and forgiving because you don’t know the whole story.
When
is the last time you wrote a note of forgiveness to someone? You might
want to start with yourself. Are there things that you need to forgive
yourself for having done or failed to do? Next, who are the people that
have hurt you? Have you locked them out of your life by holding back
forgiveness?
You need to write them a note of forgiveness so that you free yourself of the burden of un-forgiveness.
Please
write a forgiveness note to someone today. Even if you don’t get to
give them the note, please write it. Go on, do it before it is too late!
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