'My Maasai dream is over': Theatre volunteer, 26, who moved to Kenya to marry a tribal warrior returns to Britain to give birth to a baby by his 19-year-old SON (who sees her 'more like a mum')
- Rebekah O'Brien moved to Kenya to marry a dancer Rempesa in 2013
- After their relationship ended Rebekah began seeing his son Lawrence, 19
- Last week she gave birth to Lawrence's child, a boy called Kito
- The pair are no longer together but Rebekah has sent Lawrence £600
A new
mother has revealed how after she moved to Kenya to marry a Maasai
warrior she went on to have a baby with his teenage son - who remains in
Africa, while she is back in Britain.
Rebekah
O'Brien, 26, fell for butcher Rempesa Ole Kirkoya, 40 when he and his
Maasai warrior troupe came and performed in the Maddermarket Theatre in
Norwich in 2012.
Rebekah,
a gym receptionist from Kent, was so entranced with his culture and the
connection that she felt that she uprooted her life to move 7,000 miles
to be with him - even though he was already married to his wife Joyce.
But
three years on and her fate has been less than straightforward. She and
Rempesa are no longer together and instead she is romantically involved
with his eldest son, a teenager still at school who is unable to help
her support their week-old son Kito.
Rebekah O'Brien moved to Kenya and married a Maasai warrior, but she has
just had a baby with his son after they fell for each other. Pictured:
Rebekah with her son Kito
Rebekah's
love affair with Kenya - and two of its citizens - began in October 2012
when she was on a filming course and volunteered as a steward at the
Norwich theatre.
Rempesa
and his Osiligi warrior troupe came to put on a performance of their
songs and dances and she was so fascinated by them that when one of the
women she met invited her to visit Kenya.
Then,
as she waited for her friend by a shop, she ran into Rempesa, then 37,
and even though he couldn’t speak a word of English and she knew no
Swahili, they managed to converse with hand movements and facial
expressions.
Rebekah
recalled: 'When my friend came out, she gave me a knowing look, and now,
looking back, that was the moment I started falling for him.
She
decided to go to Kenya for a nine week trip in January 2013. She flew
out to stay in a tin hut in Kisames, an hour's drive from Nairobi, where
there was no running water or electricity.
It was there that Rebekah and Rempesa, the village butcher, started a relationship.
'On
that first trip I saw him a number of times, sometimes with his wife,
and she would even translate for me so we could chat,' she said.
After splitting with Rempesa Rebekah fell for his son Lawrence, 19, and she fell pregnant in august
Rebekah O'Brien fell for dancer
Rempesa (pictured), 40 when he and his performing Maasai warrior troupe
came and performed in the Maddermarket Theatre in Norwich in 2012
'I remember him saying "I love you" to me and at first I just saw it as friendly, but my feelings started to grow,' she said.
'As
a Western woman in Kenya people were suspicious of me, but Rempesa was
so kind, buying me food and drinks and always had time for me and made
me feel welcome and special.'
Amazingly,
when she first met him he already had a wife, Joyce, who welcomed her
into the fold and gave their relationship her blessing.
Rempesa Ole Kirkoya met Rebekah while he toured the UK performing traditional Maasai songs
As
he spoke little English, Joyce helped translate for Rebekah so they
could build their relationship and even played the Backstreet Boys hit
As Long As You Love me so they could all sing along to make her feel at
home.
Rebekah
then came back to the UK in March 2013 and vowed to learn Swahili so
she could return to Kenya, signing up for a course on Facebook.
Then
she began chatting to Rempesa on Skype and he told her again that he
loved her and missed her and it was then that she realised she wanted to
be with him.
Although
he was married with five children - a boy and four girls aged between
five and 17 - he told her their relationship was platonic and his wife
Joyce herself told Rebekah that she was happy for them to marry.
In
March 2013 Rempesa returned to the UK to perform with his troupe, so
they would talk on the phone up to four times a day and, on his last
night here, their relationship became physical.
She
said: 'We shared a hotel room together and it was lovely. We talked
about getting married and although he didn’t say his marriage was over,
and I knew he still lived with his wife, I felt assured they were
nothing more than friends.'
And it was Joyce, 42, who welcomed Rebekah at the airport when she went to visit again in December.
She
recalled: 'We drove back and she kept playing the Backstreet Boys in
the car so we could sing along to make me feel at home. She said the
song was all about love and that’s what we shared.
The pair are no longer together and Rebekah had their son Kito in
Norwich last week. Pictured: The couple when they were together last
summer
'When I got
to the house, Rempesa led me to his bedroom, and Joyce went and stayed
with the children. It was strange, but I was just so happy to be with
him and I realised then it wouldn't be a case of him having two wives,
although I was happy to live like that. I would be his main wife and
they were just friends.”
Rebekah
admits that she’d been unlucky in love in England and loved the
different values held by Rempesa and his Kenyan friends, which was one
of the reasons she has chosen to make a life for herself there.
She
said: 'My friends said I was mad to be running off with a Kenyan man,
living in a tin hut with him and his first wife and five children.
'But
there is hardly a huge sea of great guys here in the UK. And I decided
when I was there that I didn’t want to be like women here, working all
the time.
Rebekah and Lawrence, father of her newborn baby Kito, pose for a photo together
'In Kenya,
it’s like being a British wife in the 1940s. You cook, clean and look
after the home and your husband and family and I don’t see anything
wrong in that at all.
'The whole community supports each other and everyone is so happy and friendly. They have a great life.'
In
Rempesa’s culture, Rebekah became his wife when she spent a night in
his home and they were set to have a wedding ceremony but had to abandon
their plans after his first wife suddenly died.
But tragedy soon struck. In January 2014, as Rebekah settled into her new life, Joyce, died of an accidental overdose.
Rebekah said the other villagers blamed her tor the incident but despite threats she and Rempesa kept their relationship alive
She
said: 'It was a total shock but she was very troubled.' She said that
there had been animosity towards her from some of the people in the
village who blamed Rebekah for getting together with Rempesa for Joyce's
death.
However,
the pair still planned a proper ceremony where Rebekah would spend the
night before the wedding with a village elder before being led to her
dress. She hoped that with other traditional celebrations they would
receive gifts from the villagers such as a chicken or a cow.
She is hoping to see Lawrence come to the UK to visit his child and has already sent him £600
'It's
not like a wedding in the UK where you spend a fortune on a big dress
and have a list of expensive presents you’d like at John Lewis,' she
said.
In
February 2015, she fell pregnant and returned to the UK to have her
baby where it could be cared for by the NHS and have British
citizenship.
I suppose it didn't help that I was basically his stepmum before we got together
However,
speaking at the time about her future as a mother, Rebekah revealed
that she had lost the support of her family and was living with a
Christian couple in Norwich while she tried to raise the money to go
back to Kenya to live.
Speaking
about being a new mum, she said: 'I know that in Kenya, looking after a
baby would be totally different. As the people there are poor, they
only buy one nappy at a time, and I know that babies can go through
about six a day, so I think at first I’d be better in the UK.
'Once
the baby is older, I think they adapt very well to being mothers. You
go to cafes and see mums with their babies strapped across them, walking
round, and they just get on with their lives.
'The
food is much healthier and less processed, just lots of fruit, veg and
meat, and the weather is much better. I always feel healthier there and
the community is very much focused on children and family.'
But
the future that she sketched out for herself and Rempesa wasn't to be.
In the final months of her pregnancy, she and Rempesa broke up and
Rebekah faced tragedy alone.
She
gave birth to her daughter Arya who died just six weeks later. Rebekah
then had to break the agonising news to Rempesa over Skype.
Although heartbroken and grieving, Rebekah craved Kenyan village life again and wanted to be back with Arya's family.
But
once she returned she herself falling for the warrior's 19-year-old
son Lawrence who is still at school making up for a few missed years
through truancy.
He confessed his feelings for her and their relationship became physical.
Rebekah
then fell pregnant with her son Kito last August, however it seems that
the pressure of the pregnancy turned the relationship sour and Rebekah
returned to the UK to have their son who was born last week.
She
is hoping to see Lawrence come to the UK to visit his child and has
already sent him £600 despite the fact he is unable to pay child support
because he is still in school.
Rebekah told the Mirror: 'I want Lawrence to be in his life, but I fear he sees me more as his mother than his girlfriend.
'I suppose it didn't help that I was basically his stepmum before we got together.'
WHO ARE THE MAASAI?
- The Maasai are a semi-nomadic tribe inhabiting southern Kenya and northern Tanzania.
- They occupy a total land area of 160,000 square kilometres.
- Their lives centre around their cattle, which are their primary source of food and an important measure of wealth and success.
- The tribesmen are renowned for their height and fierce hunting culture.
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